Finding Love
by super yoshi
Summary: With Lord Voldemort back, life for Draco Malfoy has become very different. With his joining of the Death's Eaters coming ever closer he has to make a decision, including the alarming feelings he now has for one Harry Potter. Worst summary ever? Check.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 Going Home

I wasn't special. I grew up being constantly reminded of that fact. Even though I've heard so often, it still hurts. Every day I would wish (I couldn't even bring myself to deny the childish action) that things would change, that the pain would stop . . . but it never did.

A new year at Hogwarts had begun. Proud parents watched their children board the train, and every face there seemed to radiate happiness. As I watched, a sick jolt of desperation struck my stomach, leaving me breathless for a moment. Where they all stupid? Did they think that of the refused to believe it, it would just go away? Just because they put on smiles and ignored it did not extinguish the fact that Lord Voldemort was back. The cruel, horrifying, fact. It was almost unbearable to watch people be so happy when this . . . this . . . horror was upon us. I could have screamed in frustration. Why didn't they believe Potter? How could they be so ignorant?

I pushed the feeling away, forcing my pain-riddled mind to concentrate on walking like a proper Malfoy. It was hard to walk straight with my back burning from my latest punishment but it was made slightly easier by the people unconsciously swerving out of my way, like I was some terrible disease they might catch if they come into contact with it. Misery settled in my gut, of course they didn't want to be near me, I'm Draco Malfoy, the arrogant jerk who doesn't care about anyone but himself.

'Even Draco says he's back –' 'Don't be stupid Pansy, Draco may be a talentless, heartless prat but he's not stupid!'

I turned round, catching sight of the two talking. Amusement ran through me. Talentless, was I? I guess that why he ended up with Madam Pomphery for 2 weeks the last time we had an argument. And heartless? Just because I turned down his offer for sex.

'Not interrupting, am I?' I drawled lightly from behind Pansy, smirking as she jumped. My two '_Best Friends'_, Pansy Parkinson and Theodore Nott, and when I say _'Best Friends'_ I mean fellow classmates that I spend my time around in public. I should have known.

Pansy at least had the decency to look ashamed, Theo on the other hand was a whole different story. I was quite impressed. He looked down at me calmly with his deep blue eyes, smiled and replied:

'Not at all Draco, how was your summer?'

He had grown a lot over the summer and the 2 inches he now had on me was remarkably irritating. I decided to let him comment slide though, bringing it up would only make him believe that he had bothered me and Malfoy's never got bothered. However, I'd get my revenge soon.

Pansy had changed dramatically since the last time I seen her. She had gained a side-fringe which covered most of her left eye and a thick layer of make-up had appeared on her visible skin. I couldn't help but smirk at the pathetic attempt to make herself prettier, but in all honesty, I did think it was an improvement, the more of her face was covered the better. She's have her glamour up as soon as we arrived at Hogwarts.

We met up with Crabbe, Goyle and Blaise Zabini (they now all towered over me, except for Pansy) and they exchanged summer memories as we walked towards the train. I didn't feel up for sharing my summer just yet so I listened patiently to Pansy's long-winded story about her holiday to Florida, nodding in all the right places. Just as I was building up the will-power to get on board, I saw two almost mystical blue eyes staring at me. I forgot what I was doing and stared right back, forgetting my manners. A girl with dirty blonde hair and a thin but pleasant face was staring straight at me . . . surly not . . . a friend of hers must be behind me or something, but just as I went to turn away she smiled.

At me.

I was numb with shock, why would someone smile at me? Why would anyone _want_ to smile at me? I couldn't help the small, quizzical smile back at her and the slight blush that rose into my cheeks before I could stop it; she seemed to beam at me before the smoke swallowed her. It was imaginary, surly, a fragment of my imagination but even so a thrill of hope swelled in my chest. Maybe I wasn't hated that much after all, but _who was she? _I went to go after her but Pansy's arm suddenly yanked me on board and all I could think about was the sudden surge of pain ripping my muscle apart. Someone rammed into my other arm and fire raced up it as well, Pansy was still pulling at my other. I was trapped. I tried to yank it out of her grip but I only succeeded in angering her further causing her to jerk me around a corner. My arm bent awkwardly and I heard a small crack, lost in the racket inside the train.

I could barely breathe; I was scared that if I did I might have screamed, in the sudden pain. I couldn't think straight! The change was so quick and so sudden, from curiosity about a now meaningless girl to this agony that I almost tripped over Pansy's feet in front of me in her effort to keep me moving.

'Over here!' Came Goyle's surprisingly soft voice.

Finally! We managed to get an empty compartment, (Goyle chased two second-years out of it) and I hurried in, managing to shake Pansy's hand from me. I let out a small whimper of pain as the blood returned to my arm and I knew that Pansy had broken it. My friends didn't seem to notice my moment of weakness for which I was incredibly grateful for. The bandages on my back rubbed painfully against the sensitive skin there as I put up my trunk, and something hot and wet ran down it. I clenched my jaw shut to prevent another lapse of weakness. Damn, I'd have to change the bandages again at Hogwarts. I sat down quickly, hoping that it hadn't stained through on my shirt. I thanked Merlin that I had worn black today. I tucked my arm carefully around my stomach, trying not to jostle it. I sighed unhappily.

Voldemort showed as much consideration for me as he did far any of his death-eaters, these gashes and bruises was a reminder from him that I was soon to join his ranks. I don't think I've ever hated someone so much in my life. Why did my father think I'd want to serve that- that _thing_? I suppose my father didn't care, did he? As long as the Dark Lord was happy, I didn't matter. Frustration lifted its ugly head and began to thrash inside my chest; I knew it wouldn't be contained for long.

My attention was caught by a large group of redheads outside, they were impossible not to notice; The Weasly's. With Potter and Granger alongside them. They were other strangers there to and I knew they were probably there to protect Potter. I rolled my eyes, what did they think? That _He _would just turn up here, out in the open? Reveal himself when the Ministry of Magic was conveniently ignoring his return? No, the Dark Lord was much smarter than that.

I could just about make them out through the thick smoke. I caught a glimpse of a huge, black dog almost tossing Potter to the ground and my Father's voice rung vividly through my head. Sirus Black, Potter's Godfather. I felt a huge surge of jealously and desire thunder through my veins, leaving me numb for a second. Potter had people who cared, who loved him, who would risk everything just to see him off at the Platform 9 and ¾ and I had no one. I immediately felt furious with myself. It ran through my body like lava, burning ever other emotion out of my system. This just made me angrier. Potter always made me feel . . . like . . . well . . . like this. He always brought out this reaction, this sudden rush of intense emotion and I hated him for it. Malfoy's weren't supposed to show emotion. Emotion is a weakness. Loathing swelled up in my chest and I glared at the back of his head hatefully, as though hoping it would burn a hole through his head if I glared hard enough. I watched as the Golden Trio jumped onto the train as the whistle sounded. Watched as they waved happily to the Weasly family as the train shuddered to life. Watched as the animagus bounded after the train until my eyes started to tingle uncomfortably.

'Come on Draco, we have to go to the Prefect's compartment.' Pansy's shrill voice broke through my pondering. Damn I'd forgotten. Irritation itched at the back of mind. We could off just went to the Prefect's compartment, but no, Pansy thought it would be fun to fucking break my arm trying to find this one. I got up silently furious and followed her out, pausing to watch the platform go out of sight. A small smile graced my features and even through my anger I couldn't help but think; it was good to be going home.

The Prefect's compartment was extremely spacious, obviously enchanted with an undetectable extension charm. There seemed to be four sections, one with each house colour decorating the area. We were the first ones there, so we took our seats and waited.

After a while of awkward silence, Pansy leaned up against my uninjured arm, clinging to it with her sticky, manicured hands, obviously not understanding the term 'personal space'. Disgust welled up inside me, why was the only one who wanted to touch me her?

'I've missed you.' She breathed. I suppose it was supposed to sound seductive, but bile was already rising in my throat.

'I guess that's why I got all those letters from you during the summer then.' I replied scarcastically.

But this didn't seem to stump her in the slightest. I felt one of her hands trail down my arm and onto my thigh, her lips touched my neck.

This was getting ridiculous, anyone could walk in at any moment. I lifted her hand not unkindly and removed it from my leg, turning my head to get her to stop molesting my neck.

'Now is hardly the time for that, Pansy.' I said coldly. Couldn't she take a hint?

'Later then?' she replied. I guess not.

I was saved (not that I'd ever admit it) by none other than Weasly and Granger, who slide open the compartment door at that exact moment causing Pansy retreated back to her own seat.

To say I was surprised would be an understatement. I thought for sure that Dumbledore would choose Potter as a prefect, Weasly didn't seem to me as Prefect material, but I suppose neither did Potter. From the look on his face I could tell he was thinking the same thing about me.

'Malfoy!' he said. Shock engraved onto every line of his face.

I smirked; he literally just walks into it. Granger looked round and stared for a moment.

'Well done, Weasly. Did the Mudblood have to remind you of my name? Or are you just that dim?' I sneered at him. Pansy let out an unnaturally high-pitched laugh, almost making me wince.

I felt slightly guilty about calling Granger a 'Mudblood' I knew she was better than that, but it felt so good to let my frustration out on Weasly and I knew that calling her that would anger him. His reaction made it even better. His ears turned bright red and his teeth clenched together, he was so easy to rill up. How had Potter ever chosen him over me?

'Don't you dare –' he started, taking a step towards me, his hand reaching into his pocket for his wand.

'Stop Ron, he's not worth it!' Granger said. She threw me a scathing look before taking her seat. Weasly remained standing, glaring at me for a moment. I raised an eyebrow challengingly before he threw himself down in the chair next to Granger and looked determinedly out the window.

I hated to admit it but Granger was impressive. At least Potter showed some taste in his friends. Ever since she'd punched me in 3rd year, I had gained this uncontrollable respect for her. My thoughts turned to Potter. I wondered what he was doing without his trusty side-kicks to chat to?

The others followed almost immediately so I had no time to taunt them further.

Professor Mc Gonagall voice, which was usually very good at keeping the attention of the one being addressed, was easy to block out today.

'. . . as Prefect's you are able to give out detentions but only to those who deserve it . . .'

I couldn't help but yawn.

'. . . if I find any of you abusing your position . . .'

Was it me or was it getting much darker in here?

' . . . Your first assignment is . . .'

My arms and legs began to feel very heavy, the only thing keeping me awake was the stinging in my left arm, but it too was slowly fading . . .

Mc Gonagall's voice was becoming fainter and fainter . . .

'Draco!' Came the furious whisper in my ear. I jumped, my head jerking to the side and causing my broken arm to bang against the arm of the chair. My jaw locked. Pansy was so close to my face, I couldn't really make out much else.

'Come on, the meetings over, we have to go! I can't believe you fell asleep, what is wrong with you? Come on!' She raged.

She made a grab for my arm again, but I hit hers out of the way before she could do any more damage.

'I wasn't asleep! And don't touch me! I'm very capable of walking on my own Pansy.' I growled, before pushing her out of the way. Why on earth did I make friends with her? I could just tell that she was huffing behind me. Couldn't she grow up?

I made my way back to our compartment, passing Cho Chang coming the opposite direction, she walked right into my injured arm, as though on purpose. It took all my self-control not to shout at her right there.

'Watch were your going!' I shot, my anger barely contained. She blushed and mumbled something to her feet, before glancing shyly up at me through her lashes and smiling. I blinked.

What on earth was happening? Did I look different? Has everyone lost their minds? I was so confused. This again brought back the memory of the smiling blonde girl. Everyone was acting so strange. I wonder if she knew Chang?

I knew as I sat down that I'd still have my traditional visit to Potter's compartment to look forward to, but for now I enjoyed the banter between Theo, Blaise and Pansy about Quidditch. I didn't join in, knowing that if I did I'd only argue with one of them.

'Come on Draco, back me up.' Blaise said, looking at me hopelessly. I gave a small smile.

'This is your own battle, Blaise.' I said. He rolled his eyes muttering under his breath something that sounded like 'git' and fondness gushed up inside me and I remembered why they were my friends again.

Some things never change.

The closer we got to Hogwarts, the faster my heart began to race. I resisted the urge to jump up and whoop for joy as the train stopped. I left my friends far behind as I got off, still holding my injured arm to my stomach I set off towards the carriages. The air was cool and calming against my face and the slight drizzle felt like Heaven on my skin. No one bothered me, it was easy to walk through the crowd to an empty carriage, and as I got closer a genuine smile leaked onto my face.

The threstals were really quite beautiful. With their gleaming black fur and peaceful demeanour, I loved being around them, it made me feel like time had stopped for a moment. I've been able to see them since first year, there mystical white eyes glowing through the darkness suddenly reminded me of the blonde girl's eyes staring through the smoke and almost as if by magic I saw the same hair disappear into another carriage out of the corner of my eye. I stared for a minute, hoping the girl might show herself unaware that I was stroking the silky fur of the creature's neck.

'Who is she?' I whispered to it, turning back to face it. I rolled my eyes at my own stupidity. The first sign of madness, talking to animals. I turned back and caught Potter staring at where my arm was stroking, his incredibly green eyes met mine quizzically. Even through the space between us I could see that they were green. The most intense green I'd ever seen.

But why was he looking at me like that, and with a pang of pity I realised that he could see them now, he had seen Diggory die. Potter had been through a lot, too much. I disguised my pity as a glare and raised eyebrow which was returned with a look of pure loathing and disappointment? I guess he was still sour about the incident on the train.

'Draco, what are you doing?' Theo's smooth voice said. I hastily dropped my arm and turned round, trying to push back the embarrassment.

'Waiting of all of you of course. What took you so long?' I replied.

'Not all of us are as fast as you mate.' said Blaise, 'and what's up with your arm? You've been clutching it all day.'

They all looked at me curiously, except Crabbe and Goyle who looked like they hadn't understood a word of what Blaise had said, must have been too big a sentence for them.

'Nice of you to worry, but nothing's wrong.' I straightened my arm, trying to keep my face casual. I must have failed though because a suddenly concerned looking Blasie lifted my arm gently and began to pull back the sleeve. The others crowded round and I felt blood rush to my cheeks.

'Just- just leave it- it's nothing . . . really . . .' my pathetic excuse was lost as they saw the huge black and blue bruise around the swollen fragment of arm that used to be my elbow. I was even a bit shocked at the damage.

There was a moment of silence.

'Fuck Draco, this looks broken! What happened?' Blaise questioned giving me an appalled look. The others seemed to have lost interest and where now boarding the carriage. Blaise was my only true friend, I knew I could count on him for anything, but I still hadn't told him about my 'lessons'.

'It's nothing, really!' I added, seeing the look on his face, ' Madam Pomphery can heal it when we get to Hogwarts.'

'Then what's these?' he said. I glanced down and I felt dread sink down into my stomach followed by panic racing through my heart.

He had noticed the small white scars on my wrist, five of them now shown clearly in the strange light. All the carriages suddenly started to move and I jumped on board, glad to take my arm back. Blaise was right behind me. I took my seat and watched as Hogwarts slowly came into view. I could tell Blaise was looking at me but I didn't want to talk right now. How was I going to explain that my wrists where cut by the chains my father put on me while teaching? How could I suddenly tell my deepest darkest secret to the world? The answer was simple.

I couldn't. Inside my head it was safe, outside . . . if I ever told . . . I couldn't even think about the staring and whispering that would happen. I wouldn't be able to handle it. They'd all think I was dirty, a monster. They'd ignore me worse than ever and I don't think I could survive if Blaise stopped talking to me.

Why did I have to be me?

Well that's the start. It took my 6 days to write this so you better review, please? Wow, re-reading it makes me sad, why am I even putting this up? Oh yeah, because I love DRARRY! Oh and if you don't like Drarry then please don't read. Thank you! Oh and this is not Draco/Luna. Luna belongs with Neville but Luna does come into the story soon . . .


	2. Chapter 2

Okay I got 1 review and I freaked! This is my first chapter and I got a review, even though I'm crap in comparison to the rest of the fanfiction authors! Wow. I feel so privileged, so thank you digimonfan4ever101 for making my day.

Chapter 2 Making new friends.

I had never minded first years that much until this year. How had I never noticed how small and utterly childish they were? I never would have looked my prefect in the eye until at least third year, when I'd gained a bit of height and yet here was a stuck up little brat raising his eyebrow at me as though I were stupid! Pansy was the only thing that stopped me strangling the boy, by answering his stupid question. That's another thing, they were far too nosy for their own good, I would have put half of them in Gryffindor! They asked far too many questions which would someday get them in trouble. There was only a small girl in the back who didn't talk to anyone and listened intently to everything I – oh all right! – Pansy said to them. Their voices were too high as they chatted excitedly among themselves and I could feel a head ache coming on already. I just wanted to be alone for a second! I managed to reach the back of the group and sit in my favourite armchair beside the fire. It was the armchair reserved for me, the 'Ice Prince of Slytherin' as the liked to call me. I smiled into the fire, imagine if they knew I only liked it because the plush warm material pressing against my back and curling round my body felt like someone embracing me. I felt a hand tug at my sleeve and I went ridged in shock; it was one of the first years. She actually approached me? My eyebrow cocked in interest. It was the quiet girl that I'd noticed earlier.

She was so insignificant compared to the dramatic grandness of the Slytherin common room and yet she stood out like a sore thumb, when you noticed her. Her messy chestnut hair which obviously hadn't been combed was almost as bushy as Granger's and she was slightly shorter than the rest of them. It was so un-slytherin like I had to wonder did the sorting hat make a mistake. Merlin, she was never going to survive her first year.

'Are you alright?' she stared up at me and blinked her big doe eyes. I felt my chest pang slightly. She was adorable, like an angel throw into the snake pit. She made dramatic movements with her hands, which I recognised as sign language, having studied it in my personal library at the manor while I had the . . . well . . . energy to walk down there. My chest grew even heavier.

'Can you not speak?' I asked pointing to my mouth.

She shook her head and looked at her feet in what I assumed was shame, her self-hatred seemed to touch my very skin causing the uncontrollable pity to clench at my heart. She was so fragile and innocent, why had her voice been taken from her? What could this angel could have done which deserved this?

And I did something, something I'd regret later when my fellow peers found out.

But . . . I couldn't help it. It was like someone else was moving my hand for me and someone else talking in the soft tones that I only used to my mother. And yet it was all me, this was who I was really and for once I wasn't going to back down. I wasn't going to let this girl suffer. I put my thumb under her chin and lifted face until her eyes met mine; I was horrified to find unshed tears in them.

'It's alright, I'm going down to Madam Pomphery, the healer, and if you wanted to come down with me I'm sure she could give you a vocal enhancer of some sort.'

I saw the spark return to her eyes and happiness filled my chest, I could have sworn I almost purred. She pointed to the door eagerly and took my hand tugging it to get me up. I laughed lightly, my bones turning to air. If I hadn't been so caught up in emotion, I would have noticed the stares that almost everyone in my year was giving me, and the sudden smirk that crawled across Theo's face.

But I didn't.

She wouldn't let go of my hand, she held it tightly as though I might disappear, and she kept glancing back to make sure I was still there. I never would have said it but I was happy she didn't, I'd never held a hand before and hers was so tiny in mine, I felt if I gripped to tight it would break. Yet it was so warm and comforting, and it suddenly made sense why couples held hands. I watched her excited face fondly as we walked and that's when my father's voice came back to me, along with the memory molten hot metal bars and chains.

'Don't become attached to anyone Draco. The more your care the more you have to lose. Your enemies know this and will use it.'

This was the one piece of information Father had given me I thought that made sense, but I'd seen Father live this lesson to its fullest and yet he was so . . . unhappy! I didn't want to be unhappy, ever. As I grew up I wanted to get away from the Manor, I wanted to get away from Father and England and become happy. I knew I'd never find it in the Manor, not since Potter freed Dobby, my only friend back then. I wanted happiness, I craved it with all my heart and soul but as long as the Dark Lord was around, I didn't think anyone would get it. I wish I was a child again, when things were easy and simple and no one had judged you yet, I wish I was starting first year over again . . .

By the time I'd come out of my thoughts we were already there and Madam Pomphery was looking at me expectantly, tapping her foot impatiently. I could see the shock in her eyes too, probably at me holding hands with the first year. Draco Malfoy helping a first year! Not something you saw everyday. Emotions were so easy to read in the eyes, especially Potter emerald ones.

. . .

Where had _that_ come from? _Emerald? _When did I become a bloody poet? About _Potter's fucking eyes _of all things_? _Why am I even thinking this right now? I knew I was crazy but Potter's eyes? Really Draco? Why am I thinking about Potter at all? Stop!

'I, um, this, uh, this girl, you see, she, uh . . . 'I coughed and took a deep breath, stuffing what had just happened into a drawer at the back of my mind. Concentrate Draco! It never happened, Potter has eyes, everyone does, it's completely normal. Normal.

Then why were my palms getting sweaty and my stomach lurching at the thought of them? I swallowed past the sudden lump in my throat.

'She can't speak; she was hoping you could give her a vocal enhancer or something?'

I can't believe I just stuttered. What has happened to me this year? It used to be so easy to put up my mask. I was going mental! Thinking people were smiling at me and helping a first year out and getting all hot and bothered about Potter's eyes . . . Oh Merlin, worst choice of words ever!

She smiled warmly at me and then the girl.

'Just come and sit up here and I'll go get something for you okay?' The girl ran over, her eyes sparkling and her cheeks flushed with anticipation and hopped on the bed. I shook my head in defeat, how could you not care? She was eleven and yet a four year old shone out of her sky coloured eyes at me. All the pain Father put me through to learn that lesson completely forgotten when the little girl smiled at me. I wondered if Father was here would he just sneer, I wonder if he could care anymore. The Dark Lord had taken a lot from Father, it was almost enough for me to pity him for what he'd done. Almost.

I was about to leave when I remembered my broken arm. I glanced up, pulling it gently against my stomach, but Madam Pomphery had gone, I turned to look behind me.

'Ahhh!' I yelled, jumping almost a foot in the air.

My wide eyes staring at the girl who shocked me. No ordinary girl, she was 'The Girl'. The blonde who smiled at me, the blonde who _was_ currently smiling at me and staring at me in a very dreamy state. I wondered briefly if she ill, she was after all with Madam Pomphery.

Who just so happened to have run in at my shout.

'What? What happened?' She asked, her eyes scanning hurriedly over each of us in turn.

'Nothing, I – she,' I jerked my thumb towards the girl,' just scared me is all. Sorry.' I mumbled, slightly annoyed at myself for yelling now.

To my surprise she seemed sympathetic and I wondered had the girl scared her too.

'Are you okay?' she said, eyeing my arm, which suddenly jerked in pain as if to say 'Remember me dumbass?' Great, now my arm had a sense of humour. Or else I was even crazier than I thought. I looked at the girl again who was still staring; those eyes were quite unnerving really. I turned back, blushing slightly.

'Oh yeah, I think I broke my arm, I was looking for you before she scared me. I forgot to come down here when I got off the train, with Prefect duties and all.'

'You forgot you had a broken arm?' She said incredulously, reaching for it, 'didn't you feel the pain?'

She pushed my sleeve up gently; revealing a more gruesome sight than I expected, it looked like blood had pushed itself close to the surface of my arm and had gone in different directions, swirling around the bruising. It was quite pretty, the black, blue, white and red intertwined until you remembered that it was supposed to be an arm. I winced. It was only when you looked at a wound that it really made itself known and the painful throb of blood was now hard to tolerate.

'I didn't think it was that bad.' I said truthfully, glancing at the girl behind me again.

She led me to the bed beside the girl and sat me down, she went over to the first year telling her to drink the potion she gave her and then rushed back to me. I started to worry, why was she so panicked?

'I thought you could mend bones in a heartbeat?' She looked slightly annoyed at my questioning but answered none the less.

'Of course I can, but this isn't just a broken bone anymore Mr. Malfoy. As you can see there is dramatic swelling and bruising but this blood escaping to the surface of the skin meaning the bone had ruptured a artery, if I heal the bone, the hole in the artery will be free to bleed and it will be harder to heal with all that blood. So to stop that we first must move the bone away manually so that we separate the artery and then heal it as quickly as possible. This will hurt.' She said pitifully, putting a hand above my elbow and below.

'Wait, what are you –'but it was too late. She forcefully twisted her hands.

I snapped my mouth shut over my lip, my eyes clenched shut as fire raced up my arm and into my neck. It was almost better when it was broken. I could feel my heart thud against my chest, could feel the blood as it moved through my veins and into my elbow and I could feel . . . my elbow blowing up. I know! It sound weird but it was like it was filling with water. A was scream frozen in my lungs.

Then it stopped. As quickly as it had started.

My breathing was ragged in my chest. I opened my eyes and unhinged my teeth from my lip. The tangy, salty taste of blood was in my mouth and I grimaced. I inspected my now healed elbow. At least now you could call it an elbow but it was still quite badly bruised and awful stiff to move.

'Here,' she said, handing me a bottle of cream,' you will use this twice a day to get rid of the bruising, and I will need to bandage it for the time being. Stay here.' She glared at me firmly before striding across the hall. I turned back to the girl who was reading a book upside down, but before I could ask her, her name the little first year came up to me beaming.

'You were so brave, I couldn't have done that.' She whispered in awe. I felt slightly uncomfortable, especially with praise.

'Hey, you can talk! Yay!'

What a stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, STUPID thing to say. Yay? Since when did you say yay?

She giggled and then in a blur of curls she was hugging me fiercely. I froze looking down at her, she snuggled her head in my chest. I held my hands up as though a wand was pointed at me. I looked towards the girl for support. She was laughing, her head thrown back in silent laughter. Well she was some help.

She let go and I dropped my hands.

'Thank you!' she squeaked.

'Your welcome . . .'

'Lizzy, Lizzy Edwards.' She held out her hand formally, puffing out her chest and standing as tall as she could. Could you die of cuteness? I smirked and shook her hand.

'Draco Malfoy.' It only occurred to me later, as she was running out of the door waving frantically, that I should have gave her a different name.

'Well, Draco Malfoy, I think that what you did was incredibly nice of you.' Her voice shocked me. It was strong and powerful compared to her dream like appearance. It was confident in who she was and what she was doing. I already liked this surprising girl.

I looked over, slightly sheepish.

'I suppose it was but I'll pay for it later though.' I sighed, 'What's your name?'

'Luna Lovegood,' she answered, standing up from her bed and coming over. She scraped up a chair and sat down on it gracefully. Madam Pomphery had come back out and was now in the process of bandaging up my arm which had mercifully stopped throbbing, all the while throwing disapproving looks at Luna. Luna. That was a nice name, it really suited her.

I told her as much and she gave me a delighted smile.

'You can go now Mr. Malfoy and you too Miss. Lovegood. Be careful with that arm for the next couple of weeks.' She said before shooing us out. I glared at the now shut door in irritation, I was never shooed out like a common house cat! I heard giggling to my left and looked up surprised.

'You're really cute when you're angry.' Luna said.

I blushed furiously, ducking my head. Wow my shoelaces were so intricate and interesting. We started walking back together. Why was I so nervous? Just say something to her.

'So what happened your arm?' she asked.

I looked up and frowned.

'Well, Pansy broke it, by accident!' I added hastily at her gasp,' she didn't know she had done it. Pansy get's very impatient sometimes; stupid girl doesn't know her own strength.'

'It's nice you're trying to defend a friend.' She answered.

'I wouldn't call her a friend really . . .'

'No, you don't like her much do you? Honestly neither do I. She calls me Looney sometimes, you know and it's quite hurtful.' She said matter-of-factly.

I was, again, surprised. She could talk about someone bullying her so easily.

'That's awful! You shouldn't have to put up with that.' I said and now I was the one staring at her.

She smiled and looking over at me through her hair. 'You're sweet.'

I almost tripped. Me, sweet?

'Malfoy's are not sweet! They are charming and thoughtful!' I exclaimed defensively.

She laughed, her eyes sparkling. 'Nope, they're sweet!'

I couldn't help grinning back at her, she was infectious.

We were coming up to the junction leading up to Ravenclaw tower and I was trying to walk as slowly as possible, hoping to draw out this most likely one off conversation. I looked ahead and saw Potter and his friends chatting in a huddled group. What was up with them? We stopped at the stairs my eyes locked on Potter. He looked worried about something as a small crease had appeared in between his eyebrows giving him away. I wondered if his Godfather, Sirius Black had anything to do with it.

'He is quite good-looking isn't he? You two would make a cute couple, don't you think?' a far away voice questioned.

'Yes, yes . . . I mean no!' I said whirling back to face Luna in shock realizing what she had said,' You're joking right? Me and Pott- a couple- what are you-? What made you think- I don't even – he-'she put a finger up to my lips.

I gazed desperately at her. This wasn't happening, I wasn't even thinking about that! How dare she assume that- that I- I couldn't even think it.

'Don't worry, I can keep a secret! What are friends for right?' she smirked evilly at me. Or at least I saw it as evil.

'No, you've got it wrong- seriously!'

But she was already running up the stairs waving and then she was gone. I stared after her, rooted to the spot by what had happened. It was impossible! This must be some crazy dream because here is no way on this earth that I would ever, and I mean ever even consider liking –

'Potter!' I shouted,' watch were your going!'

He had just barrelled straight into me. And no, my arm wasn't tingling from the moment of contact with Potter's warm arm. It wasn't! It really wasn't! Oh god!

He looked up at me leaving me breathless as those eyes locked with mine. Merlin, you didn't have to be a poet to know they were emerald, because it was so blaringly obvious when you saw them, even behind those stupid glasses. He seemed to zone out as he stared at me, and then what Luna had said came back. I could feel the blood pooling in my cheeks and I ducked my head down and started walking as fast as I could in the other direction. God, I'd never be able to look him in the eye for at least another week. I didn't stop walking (because Malfoy do not run) until I was sprawled on my bed, face down in the pillows with the curtains draw and a strong silencing charm up. God there had to be one good thing that happened today, one thing that made getting up this morning not go down in vein. I just wanted to forget everything, was there any possible way to oblivate myself? I'd have to ask Blaise in the morning. I wonder if he got me a schedule, probably had the over-organised git. I amused myself for a moment with fond memories of how he had spent an hour doing a time-table of revision for me and it had accidently fell in the fire. He was angry to say the least. A angry kitten!

It was then as my eyes dropped and my body turned to lead sinking further into the mattress that I remembered what Luna had said;

'. . . what are friends for? . . . '

Friends. I smiled into the pillows and faded into the darkness that was sleep.

Well, there you go a second chapter finished. It's rubbish I know but I just felt so compelled to write my own Drarry fic. I love Luna, she's my second favourite character so I had to put her in and Lizzy is kinda like my niece who I love forever. By the way it would be lovely if you could maybe review? It would help with the awful writing oh and I LOVE YOU ALL! . . . except Hitler. By the way I'm not sure about the word dropped? Is it dropped like 'I dropped a hotdog in the piano' or is it like 'The flower dropped in the heat'?

Well I meant the flower one anyway. Thank you for reading! Keep Calm and Drarry on!

My WFT (word for today) is: SPEW. (Society of Pottermore Email Waiters)


	3. Chapter 3

I'm so sorry about the delay, but I was in Dublin for the last 4 days. I missed Drarry so much. There is some Ginny bashing in this one. I just hate her, don't ask why.

digimonfan4ever101, I've grown quite fond of you! And it's only my third chapter! You reviewed again! And you're going to promote my fic? Wow, you really don't have too. It was so nice of you and thanks for the criticism. I kinda thought the same. The conversation was short and Luna seemed a bit childish, but I might correct that when I've become a better writer . . . or maybe when I finish because I'm never going to be a better writer.

And to LadyGreenleafofMirkwood, I would hardly call my writing great but thank you soooo much!

I love reviews. You two made my day!

It was dark. I couldn't see straight. My eyes were rolling back in my head and I couldn't stop them.

I couldn't move my arms or my legs, it was cold.

It was so cold.

I could hear screaming. Dreadful high-pitched screaming that sliced through you making you flinch. I saw red eyes in the shadows, getting closer and closer, bigger and bigger. The screaming got louder, I wished it would stop, I begged it to stop. The scarlet eyes watched me, mocking me silently and it was then I realized that it was me who was screaming . . .

I shot up, gasping for breath, my body jerking violently against the sheets which had curled around me during the night. I was drenched in a cold sweat and my hair had fallen over my eyes. I threw my head into my hands, my palms digging into my eyes, trying to push the picture out of my head.

It a nightmare. Just a nightmare . . . but it had felt so real! Even Hogwarts couldn't keep the nightmares away. I could still hear the heavy snoring of Crabbe to my left and I thanked Merlin for silencing charms. All I needed now was to ask Madam Pomphery for a sleepless dream potion but then she'd ask why and – for fucks sake! I couldn't tell her why. Even Snape would ask questions.

I wanted to hit something; every muscle in my body was clenched, holding in emotions that didn't know how to escape. I felt hot tears drip down my cheeks and I wiped them away furiously. I snatched my potions knife from the drawer beside my bed and put the cold steel to my wrist without thinking. I paused, my hand trembled and my eyes went wide and what I'd done; all my emotions were trapped, screaming inside me, begging to be let out but . . .

I sighed, putting the knife back and laying down. I'd worked too hard to return to that habit again. No matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't because I was fifteen now, I had to be strong. If not for myself then for my Mother, who was currently being held hostage in her own house. She used to be strong, she was the one who never cried but I watched the light in her eyes die and I couldn't bring myself to look at her anymore. Even so, I loved her more than anything and I hated Father for what he had done to her.

I stayed like that for a couple of moments, lost in memories of when we would explore the gardens together at the manor without Father, when we were happy and carefree, before throwing the covers off and sitting up. Goosebumps rose on my arms in the chilly air of the dungeons.

There was no way in hell that I was going back to sleep after that. I glanced at the clock.

5.00a.m.

Well, it was longer than I usually slept and I had plenty of time to get ready now. I grabbed my school shirt and some muggle, faded blue jeans. I pulled on some black converse (again muggle) and left my classmates to sleep.

If Father knew I had these I'd hate to think what he'd do, but I'd kept them well hidden at Hogwarts. Dobby looked after them well for me. I wondered where he was now. I hope he was having a good time wherever he was, living the life of a free elf. I was almost happy Potter freed him at the look on his face when he told me he was free but then Father took his anger out on the only thing he had control over. Me. And my gratefulness towards Potter evaporated.

The corridor outside was cold and dark but I knew the place so well my feet walked on their own accord to the foot of the astronomy tower. It was my favourite place in all of Hogwarts and the view of the sun rising was stunning at this time. I climbed the steps two at a time, anticipation clawing at by stomach.

I stopped at the very edge of the railing, resting my face on my hands and waited. The air was pleasantly cool and the pressing silence held a peace which could only be felt from this. The view was stunning; the Hogwarts grounds were something I never really cared about until after 4th year when I thought I'd never see them again. It' funny how much I used to take for granted. Even the Forbidden Forest looked calm.

The first drops of sunlight slowly rose and gently brushed the landscape awake. I watched with awe, completely focused on the sunrise. I stared until the sun had fully bared itself and shown happily over everything. It was almost impossible to think that Voldemort was back at this moment, but even the sun made long, murky shadows along the ground.

I jumped to my feet and yanked my wand out of my pocket and towards the door. A door which had just flown open to reveal a _very_ angry Harry Potter. We stood staring at each other before he cursed loudly.

'Malfoy! Just who I needed to see! What are you doing here?GET OUT!' it was obvious that he was struggling not to shout. He waved his arms towards the door dramatically motioning me to leave.

He glared at me waiting for me to move. His friends must have done something again; my head was still not right from the dream, where was I supposed to go now? I suppose I could go get ready.

I lowered my wand and placed it back in my pocket and walked towards the door which was unfortunately towards Potter. My heart had still not settled from his sudden appearance, in fact, it seemed to get worse as I got closer to him. My stomach flipped uncomfortably as I stepped past him to go out the door.

_Potter does not look hot when he is angry, no he does not, he's looks like a four eyed tomato when he's angry, with gleaming emerald eyes and –_

I jerked suddenly as a hand closed around my wrist and I was wheeled around to face him again. I didn't look up, he had to have some enchantment on his eyes that made people want to bend over the nearest desk and –

No, I wouldn't look at him.

'What if wrong with you?' the shock in his voice made me look up. I had never heard him shocked before, just angry. His voice was uncomfortably smooth and sensual. His mouth was slightly open and he was staring at me as though I was from another planet. I sneered and pulled my arm away and was pleased to see him blush handsomely. I mean NO! Stupidly! That's what I meant.

'There is nothing wrong with me, Potter! I was just leaving!'

But there _was_ something wrong with me, wasn't there? Something very, very wrong.

'But you – I mean, you – you –'

'Get to the point Potter I don't want to be in your company longer than I have to!'

'You're not supposed to agree with me!' He said forcefully. He looked so confused, it was adorable.

'Would you rather have an argument, which no doubt I will win, at this ungodly hour?' I tried to sound bored, but I was suddenly very hot. I shouldn't have just walked out, I should have stood my ground or made a snappy comeback or something. Merlin, I was so caught up I just couldn't think straight.

And worst of all, I'd obeyed him like a little puppy. No wonder he was shocked. Damn it!

'No, I just- he paused, 'what are you doing up at this 'ungodly hour' as you put it?' He accused.

I could feel the suspicion pouring off him. He had now been completely focused on me for the last minute and the sun had raised enough to cast shadows on his face. He looked utterly breath-taking, almost like an angel.

I groaned and put my hand to my head. Where were these thoughts coming from? I didn't want them! I wasn't gay and I didn't like Potter in that way! And suddenly Potter seemed far to close, even though he hadn't moved. It was hard to breathe because all I could breathe in was him. I turned my back, desperate to get away. The fresh air was like coming out of a dream.

'It's none of your business, Potter.' I went to walk away, I was just four stairs out of the door when he called out.

'You look different.' I turned around curiously. He looked shocked at his statement. Then I remembered that my hair wasn't done and I was in muggle clothes. I blushed and started to descend the stairs again.

'Fuck off.' I replied, I turned around and started to walk quicker but I could have sworn I saw a ghost of a smile out of the corner of my eye.

I walked in a daze back to the common room. I didn't notice the small silly grin I wore or that I was absent-mindingly rubbing my wrist were Harry had grabbed it.

I climbed the stairs to the common room, I could hear the morning chatter going on inside. I pushed the door open, it must be at least 8 already, I'd stayed there for a while.

'Morning.' I said.

Everyone looked as though they had been shagged, which was quite disturbing considering Crabbe and Goyle were in the room. Blaise was the only one who looked reasonably okay. They replied giving me odd looks, especially Theo who was looked like he was making sure every part of my body was there. It was oddly uncomfortable. I walked to my bed, giving Blaise a smile which was returned.

'Where were you?' Blaise said who had plopped himself down at the end of my bed. The gentle buzz of conversation around me made it easier to relax.

'Couldn't sleep, just went for a walk is all.'

He nodded before grinning slyly at me. I cocked my head to the side, pulling on my robes over my head.

'What?'

'Pansy was up here, looking for you. I didn't know you two were together! After all, it's like the first day of school.' Sarcasm was laced heavily in his voice.

He laughed as I pretend gagged while pulling on my tie.

'What can I say? The girls just throw themselves at me,' I rolled my eyes, 'Was she really? Merlin, I'll never get rid of her! She thinks I'll date her?'

'Well, you haven't dated anyone yet Draco, and your fifteen now. Even Crabbe has got a few girls under his belt.'

I stared at him in shock before turning to look at Crabbe who was currently trying to force his overly large foot into a sock. I laughed along with the rest of the group as he fell over the bed in his attempt.

'Seriously? How much brain damage did they have? Or was it that Weasly slut that sleeps with anyone who walks?' I asked.

Blaise cracked a grin, 'Yea actually, I think she was one, 'he shuddered, 'she tried to sleep with me you know, last year. What age was she then? 14? It will haunt me forever!'

I put my hand over my heart, 'I feel for you.' He smiled, before he became serious again.

'Seriously though, 'he lowered his voice and leaned closer to me,' we could die any day now Draco. You can't die a virgin!'

I shushed him furiously, glancing around making sure no one had heard him.

'Shut up! No one knows that!' I glared at him as he hastily said sorry.

'Start dating someone Draco, you keep this up, people will start to think you're gay.'

I think I laughed a little too hysterically because Blaise eyes suddenly narrowed.

'Don't be stupid Blaise!'

I had finally finished dressing and grabbed my wand, casting the charm to make my hair prefect. I saw Blaise's face scrunch up.

'You look better without that spell you know.'

'Yea? Well, Father's orders.' I said.

He nodded knowingly,' You coming then?' he said getting up gracefully, and pressing imaginary creases out of his robes.

'Yeah, just let me go to the bathroom.'

I had just finished washing my teeth when I heard someone else come in.

'Blaise, I told you I'm coming!'

'It's not Blaise, Draco.'

I turned slowly, standing up to my fullest height. Theo was leaning casually against the closed door of the bathroom, his arms crossed and his eyes bright with interest as he looked at me. I went towards the door, just looking at his smug expression made me angry.

'Let me out.' I demanded. He laughed and I had to force myself not to hit him. When did I get anger issues?

'The great Ice Prince of Slytherin, a virgin? I wonder what everyone will think of that when they hear it. Don't think it would go to well on your reputation, don't you think?' His smirk widened.

I had frozen. I felt like someone had struck me in the gut, dread seeped in, no matter how hard I tried not to be worried.

'And imagine my surprise when I heard that Draco Malfoy had helped out a first year and had been seen talking to none other than Looney Lovegood herself.'

'Don't call her that.' The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them, but for some strange reason I didn't feel regret. She had called me her friend. I now knew how important friendship was and I would defend her against scum like Theodore Nott. He stared at me, sizing me up, wondering if I had indeed he was taking a bit more than he can chew.

'If you don't want me to tell anyone I suggest you start preparing yourself for a change.'

I didn't reply but simply raised an eyebrow and glared right back at him. This seemed to anger him greatly, because he snarled straightened himself so he stood taller than me.

'Let me out.' I repeated. I thought he was going to hit me but then he relaxed and smirked before stepping out of the way. I walked out, knowing I had won that round. I couldn't help but be curious as to what he wanted, obviously he wanted to be top of Slytherin but there was something else, he was attacking me privately and not in front of the Slytherin house which was unusual. I met Blaise who immediately knew something had happened and asked for all the details.

I was about to tell him when I realized Nott was right behind us and I whispered later to him instead. He seemed to understand and didn't push the subject; I smiled fondly at him, who could ask for a better friend.

We took our seats at the Slytherin table, just in time for breakfast as it was nearing nine now. I glanced down the Gryffindor table finding Potter and his friends laughing heartily. My heart replaced itself in my throat. He looked wonderful when he laughed.

I sat down ignoring the feeling and looked at my time-table for the first time. We had double potions first.

'We have that Umbridge woman on Thursday.' Blaise said. I looked at Thursday and found Defence against the Dark Arts there.

I looked up at the Teachers table. Umbridge stood out like a sore thumb, her brilliantly pink attire was getting many looks from the teachers and students.

'She's from the Ministry, I suppose we better get on her right side.' I whispered to Blaise who nodded.

I chanced a look at the Gryffindor table again and was mortified to find Harry looking right at me. I adverted my eyes to my breakfast and pretended to be listening to the conversation while keeping him in the corner of my vision. This was getting impossible! I couldn't even look at him anymore without blushing like a school girl.

The rest of the day was unbelievably boring, Nott kept giving me significant looks throughout the and my heart started racing every time Harry was so much in the same room as me. I put it down to him being the one who seen Voldemort return, I decided it was pity for the whispers and dirty looks he was getting when he was telling the truth. It had to be that.

I hadn't been able to talk to Luna again, she waved in the halls but it was so busy! The homework was just phenomenal; all of us were going to losing sleep over it.

The only improvement was that I could finally start Quidditch practise now that my injuries were almost fully healed, it was still difficult to fly but it was getting easier. Maybe I could impress Harry by flying really well at the upcoming game.

My head hit the table I was sitting on.

Why me?

I am so sorry this took so long to post! I was on last minute holidays before school starts. I hope you like this chapter, it's not my longest but it's the first Drarry past! By the way, Draco used to cut but has stopped so there will be none of that in my fic. Also I will explain in a latter chapter why Draco's mum is being held prisoner in her own house.

I think I should do the next chapter from Harry's point of view, or maybe just this chapter from his point of view but I'm not sure. What do you think?

OMG, Microsoft didn't know the name Harry. I will correct this immediately.

Please review, if I don't get reviews I feel sad.

WFT: Pairah – social outcast. (this is me)

p.s I'm not sure if that is how you spell Pairah or not and I always thought absent – mindingly was a word but Microsoft doesn't think so. Is it?


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry guys. I got so caught up in Pottermore after my email finally arrived and then I got really depressed about school and didn't feel in the mood for writing so . . .

I'm back now anyway and this one is in Harry's Pov. It will be really bad, trust me so you should just skip this chapter or not read it. I'm so bad at characterisation, it's actually horrifying.

Don't be so modest digimonfan4ever101, you've kept me writing this fic. I don't like Ginny because she was like a stupid little fan girl of Harry Potter and she ended up with him? I mean, that's fairy tale stuff, I mean even Harry and Hermione had more chemistry than her (not as much as Draco obviously). I feel privileged that you haven't reviewed a fic as long as this except mine. It makes me feel special.

And to TFislove, my newest reviewer, you really made my day with this, but I don't think I deserve such praise. I've read some brilliant and I mean incredible fic's lately and I feel so jealous because I just want their talent! You know? It's crazy! But thank you so much. You made me smile.

On with the fic!

It was Thursday and I was sick of everything already, Hogwarts had never felt so lonely. Whispers followed me everywhere, everyday and I could only escape them when I was alone or asleep. Ron and Hermione were worried about me, they tried to hide it but I could tell from all the sideways glances and whispered conversations behind my back. It was getting increasingly annoying and my temper was on a very short fuse these days. And to top it all off Dumbledore was ignoring me, and I didn't know why. He hadn't even looked at me all year and it hurt. Everything was just brilliant! (Note the sarcasm)

Even Malfoy was acting weird. Just seeing his face that day had made me furious and seeing him all messed up, with his hair falling into his eyes and wearing muggle clothing had made unfamiliar feelings rise in the pit of my stomach. I hated it. It made me feel guilty when he didn't fight back, me, meaning I felt guilty! After all the things Malfoy had ever said to me and my friends and I was feeling guilty because I shouted at him? It didn't make sense! And even worse his parting comment had made me feel . . . well . . . _happy_, because at least he would never change, he would always treat me the same. It was painstakingly hard to admit that.

We were all in the great hall, I wasn't eating, just playing with my food and listening to the conversation at hand, it had shocked me at first but after four days of nothing but Malfoy this and Malfoy that it was starting to get annoying.

'I still can't believe Luna talked to him, she said it like he was a nice person! As if!'

Lavender Brown was complaining as usual and sitting unusually close to us (coughRoncough).

'Once, him and his pathetic excuses for friends actually attempted to hex one of the first years, who was only here for the first day and couldn't defend themselves. I mean, how low can you get?' she said, wrinkling her nose in disgust.

I wholeheartedly agreed with her.

'Actually,' came the unusually firm voice of Luna Lovegood who had just gracefully sat down beside me,' He wasn't there during that incident and he also helped that first year afterwards!'

I almost choked on my breakfast and Ron thumped me hard on the back.

'Helped a first year?' I managed to cough out through watering eyes.

'Yes, he stopped them from bullying her.' She nodded her head as though that settled the fact and I turned to share an incredulous look with Ron.

'Also I really think you shouldn't gossip, Lavender, it's very dangerous to play with rumours.' She said.

I glanced up towards the Slytherin table and immediately found the platinum head that could only belong to Malfoy. He seemed to be in another world, his hair gleamed in the morning sunlight but I couldn't help but think it would be better mussed up and falling over his eyes like on Tuesday morning. His eyes were out of focus and his lower lip was caught between his teeth. I stared at him, missing Luna's knowing smirk.

I wondered what was wrong with him. He was going to hurt himself if he kept chewing up his lip like that, his tongue came out and wetted them and suddenly it was very hard to swallow. My mouth went dry and I came back to reality somewhat awkwardly. Turning my head determinately from the uncomfortable sight.

'You know, if he wasn't so arrogant and completely selfish he would be really good-looking wouldn't he?'

I was frozen, every thought suddenly leaving my mind except that I could not believe that I'd heard _that _voice say _that _sentence. I looked up slowly at the voice.

'Hermione?' I said questionably.

She looked at me, blushing slightly.

'Well, he is hot Harry! Even I can admit that, it's just his personality that's completely deranged.' She said it slightly defensively, glaring around at everyone. There was a pause where I felt completely justified in gaping at her in shock.

'You're right, he could have been prefect.' I turned to Ginny in horror.

'Not you two!' I moaned. How could they even think that after all the things he had done to them? Said to them?

Suddenly all the girls were staring avidly at Malfoy and agreeing to Hermione's statement reluctantly. I was eased a bit to realize that Ron was feeling exactly the same as me.

'Malfoy is a pale faced jerk. He's ugly and horrible-how could you even think that? I mean- what – Malfoy?'

'Oh, stop babbling Ronald! I know he's a horrible person and I don't think anyone here would even consider him! It just shows that looks aren't everything are they?' she shot back, blushing further. Ron quietened looking slightly more cheerful might I add.

I don't know why, but after she said this guilt poured into my lungs making it far too hot and hard to breath. I looked over at Malfoy again, half-scared in case I couldn't look away this time. He looked up and almost did a double take when he seen us. I had to put my hand over my mouth to stop the sudden fit of laughter trying to get out. How must it look for him? All of the Gryffindor's in his year staring straight at him? His eyes met mine and he raised an eyebrow and a small quirk in his lips appeared as if to say 'what?' and I grinned, amusement dancing through me at his expression.

His expression suddenly turned icy and expressionless as he gave us a sneer and turned back to the conversation at the Slytherin table almost being too determined not to look at us again.

My grin was stuck to my face.

I just had an inside joke with Malfoy. With Malfoy about my friends and for one glorious moment I had to stop myself from laughing when my friends, my _best_ friends couldn't even get me to smile these days.

Everyone else had turned hastily back around but I couldn't help but stare, my eyes wouldn't move and I was suddenly angry, my stare turning deadly, how dare he make me feel like this? I didn't want to laugh at my friend's behaviour behind their backs with him of all people!

I felt a prickling sensation on the side of my head and reflex tore my eyes away from Malfoy and towards the Teachers desk, but no one was looking at me. I stared at the Headmaster for a moment who, was seemingly, deep in conversation with Snape before sighing.

I could have sworn he was looking at me a second ago.

'Harry. Come on, we don't want to be late for Umbridge, we don't know what she's like yet' Hermione had stood up and grabbed my arm pulling me up.

'Alright I'm coming.' I slung my bag over my shoulder and followed her out, Ron coming behind us. I caught up banging my shoulder lighty against hers. She turned to me smiling.

'Slow down, were already 10 minutes early,' I said 'What do you think she will be like?'

Before she could answer Ron had pushed his way between us and asked the same question to both of us.

'Don't think she'll be good, the Ministry don't believe You-Know-Who is back do they? Nothing good can come from the Ministry these days.'

I nodded. We stopped just outside the door the rest of the class arriving soon after us discussing the same topic.

'Look!' Ron suddenly said, pointing towards the Slytherin's. I looked up and blinked.

Then blinked harder.

Luna Lovegood, Draco Malfoy and Blaise Zabini were walking towards us, Malfoy leaving his 'friends' to lag behind them. It was not something you seen every day. Zabini was looking incredibly confused and he suddenly he reminded me of Ron when he first met Luna and Malfoy and Luna were chatting away like they had been friends for years.

Everyone had fallen silent to watch as Luna said her goodbyes and walked away waving and smiling. His belief that this was all a crazy dream was increasing by the second especially when Malfoy waved back at her. Smiling! Actually smiling, not a smirk or a sneer but an honest to God smile. It really suited him, he had a beautiful smile.

'Am I dreaming?' I said desperately hoping that with all my might that they said yes and I could wake up and stop these crazy thoughts. Ron looked at me hopelessly and gave an unenthusiastic shrug.

'You're always dreaming Potter; I mean how else would you have come up with a story as big as the Dark Lord returning?' Malfoy drawled, his smile changing to the usual arrogant smirk. His cronies laughing stupidly behind him

I felt my blood boil and any thought about Malfoy's smile disappeared.

'Or did your mother drop us as a baby? Oh wait, she couldn't have could she? I mean your mother's dea-'

'Shut your mouth Malfoy.' I growled.

I was shaking now, my jaw set holding back the things I wanted to say to him. I felt Hermione's warning hand on my arm, but all I could think about was wiping that smirk clean from his face. My fists were clenched and I raised myself to my full height and looked down on him, celebrating viciously inside my head that I was now taller than him.

'Touched a nerve Potter?' he laughed. But something was off; his eyes didn't have the fire that they usually held. They were . . . grey. A cold, lifeless grey, not the vibrant, flaming mercury they used to be when taunting me and my friends. It sent chills down my spine, it was like looking into nothingness, like looking into a corpse eyes and suddenly I was afraid. I wanted the flame back in his eyes. I needed to see something other than this emptiness that echoed in them. I wanted him to mean it when he fought with me; I wanted him to feel it!

'How's _your_ mother these days Malfoy? Does she still have the expression she has dung under her nose or is that because you're with her?' I snarled in reply taking a step forward.

And there it was, it lit up his face, his eyes flaming with anger at my insult, his eyes suddenly molten pools of emotion and relief flooded all the anger from my body. I completely relaxed even as his wand was suddenly pointed at my throat.

'Mr. Malfoy!' giggled an annoyingly high, voice and I turned around to be almost blinded by Professor Umbridge's attire. Bright pink. I cringed away, stepping back to Ron and Hermione, avoiding looking at them knowing they had those looks on their faces.

Malfoy huffed and glared at me, but this time he meant it and bizarrely that pleased me.

He brushed past me into the classroom and whispered.

'Don't insult my Mother.'

'Don't insult mine.' I shot back.

'Saying that your mother is dead isn't an insult Potter, it's a fact!' he said whirling around to face me again.

'Sit down class. You to Mr. Malfoy or a detention will be in order.' Said Umbridge, who was glaring at me and Malfoy. He turned around reluctantly and took his seat and I took mine beside Ron.

'Wand away please class, you won't need them.' She let out a squeak of amusement that hurt my ears causing me to wince. I already disliked her and class had just started. I shared a look with Ron, not one class after that phrase had ever turned out to have been good.

I pulled my book out of my bag, glancing over at Malfoy who suddenly looked lifeless again. His head rested on his hand and he was staring out the window not hearing a word being said. I having harboured that look often knew it well.

'Well now, your teaching in this subject had been rather disrupted and fragmented, hasn't it?' stated Professor Umbridge, turning to face the class with her hands neatly clasped neatly in front of her. 'The constant changing of teachers, many of whom do not seem to have followed any Ministry-approved curriculum, has unfortortunately resulted in your being far below the standard we would expect to see in your OWL year.

'You will be pleased to know, however, that these problems are now rectified. We will be following a carefully structured, theory-centered, Ministry-approved course of defensive magic this year.'

'Please read Chapter 1 'Basics for Beginners' of _Defensive Magical Theory _by Wilbert Slinkhard and when finished please read chapter 2 and so on. You may begin.' She said sweetly before sitting down and busying herself with some papers.

I opened my book and began to read. It was exceptionally boring; it was like they thought we were 5 year olds. The words went in and out and 10 minutes later I was still hopelessly reading the same line, gaining as little meaning as when I first read it. The silence was pressing in on me only broken by the slight rustle of pages being turned. My concentration began to slip and my eyes strayed back to Malfoy who seemed to be having as much luck as me. I thought back to what Hermione said at dinner, that Malfoy would be hot if not for his attitude . . .

She must be delusional, Malfoy would always be and ugly git as Ron put it. The time on the Astronomy tower didn't count. His face turned towards me and I jerked back round before he caught me staring, looking for a distraction.

I blinked, looking at the book in front of Hermione, who was on my right, which hadn't been touched. Her hand was raised straight in the air and she was staring fixedly at Umbridge. Was she actually refusing to read a book? Over half the class had now given up and found it more interesting to watch her fruitless attempt to catch Umbridges attention than to continue to read 'Basics for Beginners'. Even Malfoy was watching.

How long had she been like that? Surly not since the start of class.

'Yes dear, did you have a question on the chapter?'

'Not about the chapter, no,' said Hermione.

'Well, we're reading just now,' said Professor Umbridge, putting her stubby finger up to her lips in a childish shushing gesture.

'I've got a query on your course aims,' said Hermione.

Professor Umbridge raised her eyebrows, looking as though that was the last thing she wanted to be asked. Then she smiled widely, her resemblance to a bright pink toad becoming more vivid by the second.

'And your name is?'

'Hermione Granger.'

'Well, Miss Granger, I think the course aims are perfectly clear if you read them at the front of your book carefully,' she said, her smile widening showing pointed little teeth.

'It's just there nothing in here about _using_ defensive spells.' Hermione said quickly, determined not to be shot down.

A short pause followed the statement and out of the corner of his eye he saw Malfoy looking down at his book and frowning slightly in the most adorable way.

I turned my head slightly, completely blocking him from my view. In no way what-so-ever was Malfoy adorable in anyway EVER!

'_Using _defensive spells?' she repeated giving a little laugh. 'Miss Granger, I can't imagine a situation arising that you would have to use any defensive spells in my class, do you expect to be attacked in this classroom?'

'We're not going to use _any _magic?' Malfoy said quietly, yet his voice broke across Harry like a tidal wave. It carried through the ringing silence that was left after Professor Umbridge's statement and everyone turned to look at him.

He blushed lightly and swallowed, but didn't lower his head. I watched his Adam's apple bob up and down transfixed. I didn't know how flawless Malfoy's skin was before. It looked smooth to the touch with not a single blemish, the blush just making it ridiculously more attractive.

Whoa. That was . . . not real . . .

Okay, he's got nice skin, doesn't mean you find him attractive okay? I mean Hermione had nice skin too . . .

_But hers doesn't make your mouth go dry, does it?_

My thoughts were interrupted.

'Students in my class will raise their hands before speaking please, Mr. Malfoy. I am most displeased, your Father mentioned you at the Ministry and I now believe he was speaking most generously about you.' She gave her a sickening sweet disappointed look before turning back to face the class which now had the entire attention focused back on her.

'You will be learning about defensive spells in a secure, risk-free way –'

'What's the use in that?' I said, suddenly angry. 'If we're going to be attacked, it won't be in a risk-free –'

'Hand, Mr. Potter!'

Her pouchy eyes lingered on me for a second. I glared determinately into them furiously. I should have realized something like this was coming. The Ministry weren't going to teach us how to defend ourselves. We would be waiting ducks for Voldemort and the Death Eaters! How could they be so blind?

Professor Umbridge promptly turned her back on his raised hand, but now several other people had their hands up.

'And your name is?' she said to Neville.

'Neville Longbottom.'

'Well, do you have a question dear?'Smiling again in an incredibly irritable fashion.

'Well, it's like Harry said, isn't it?' he said. 'If we're going to be attacked, it won't be risk free.'

'I do not wish to criticise the way things have been run in this school,' she said, an unconvincing smile stretching across her face, 'but you have been exposed to some very irresponsible wizards in this class – not to mention and extremely dangerous half-breed.' She gave a nasty, little laugh.

'If you mean Professor Lupin he was –'Dean Thomas started, but she talked over him.

'You have been introduced to spells that have been complex, inappropriate to your age-group and potentially lethal. You have been frightened into believing that you are likely to meet Dark attacks every other day –'

'Well, we might!' I shouted over her, my clenched fist shaking in the air, his temper reaching boiling point.

'Like who, Mr. Potter?' she said in a voice one would use while visiting a mental patient.

I felt Hermione squeeze my leg painfully under the table but I couldn't care less. All I could see was her disgusting leer as I glared at her.

'Hmm, let's think . . .' I said, in a mock thoughtful voice, 'Maybe . . . _Lord Voldemort?'_

Ron gasped; Lavender Brown uttered a little scream; Neville slipped sideways off his stool and Hermione closed her eyes in embarrassment. Malfoy had gone ridged and was staring at me as though he'd never seen me before. I was suddenly more nervous than when he wasn't looking at me.

She gave a grim smile, I could see the satisfaction in her beady eyes and felt bile on my tongue. She was enjoying this!

'Let me get a few things clear. You have been told that a certain Dark Wizard is back at large. This is a lie.' She punctuated her last 3 words with little beats of her fist in the air and looked around the rest of the class

'It is not a LIE!' I shot through clenched teeth,' I saw him! I fought him!'

'Detention, Mr. Potter!' she said triumphantly. 'My office tomorrow evening at 5 o'clock and I repeat, _this is a lie_. The Ministry guarantees that you are not in danger from any Dark Wizard.'

I could feel the blood pounding in my head as I watched her appeal to the rest of the class. I could almost see the red of it behind my eyes I was so angry and as she sat down I stood up, my chair falling loudly behind me.

I was so angry I didn't care what happened next. The whole class waited with baited breath, but I never got it out in time.

'It's not a lie.' It was said quietly, almost unsure of itself. I whipped my head to the left, Malfoy was now bright red and his hand had slapped over his mouth. He looked scandalised and his eyes were darting from face to face, mortified.

Professor Umbridge looked quite blank and for a moment she looked as if she were going to scream at them, but then she said in her sweetish voice yet:

'I think a detention for you to Mr. Malfoy, and maybe a letter to your parents as well, please continue with your work class and no more questions!' she sat down with an air of finality in the air, but I couldn't move. I was so shocked I had gone completely stiff, nothing could have prepared me for that moment. It was like I'd inhaled ice and it was now almost impossible to breath, Hermione tugged me down into the seat but I could see her staring at Draco too. I couldn't look away, nobody could. He had looked down at his book, his eyes wide and horrified at what he had said and as soon as the bell had dismissed the class he was gone.

'What was that about?' Ron asked, his voice completely confused and highly skeptical.

I blinked stupidly at him, not able to answer his question and as Hermione and Ron discussed the newest development and we walked out of the room I felt a resolve to find out why he said it. Even if I had to wrestle it out of him in that detention with Umbridge.

Wow that was hard. Sorry it took so long, I should be doing homework but 'I REGRET NOTHING'.

Please review and tell me what you think, I will admit I took some of the dialog from the book but that was because it was that class and she has to say those things, I added my own twist though and don't worry it will never happen again. I love you all who read my story and put up with my writing.

I got my Hogwarts acceptance letter today, I went crazy. It even apologized for being late! It's the best thing since sliced bread!

Thank you once again! Please review? I'll give you cookies.


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